A Perfect Night... Not Quite
Why do those jeepneys from UP going to EDSA-Quezon Avenue have to pass by the waiting shed near Melchor Hall? Any reason you give me, I won't accept as a valid one. Let me tell you the story of my far-from-being-perfect night that started in a painful ordeal - well, I exaggerated here for a bit.
...Hey, is it just me or is this a deja vu?
8:00 pm -> Riding a UP Campus-MRT Highway jeepney that has a usual route around the university premises before
entering the busy streets of Quezon City, I spotted a not so familiar face that I am anxious to see - the man who took away, without permission, a big part of me last summer. He was the reason why I had no companion during our recent Graduation Ball - which I enjoyed anyway. This guy made her decide to finally call it quits.
In short, I was nothing to her but an empty seat; and this man now occupies my empty spot. What really bothers me is the fact that I may see them together and, for sure, bad memories and painful thoughts will be awakened within me. Thank God, this guy who have crushed my ego was all alone last night - if that were any consolation to me, Thank God indeed.
8:45 pm -> "Hey, fancy meeting you kanina. Musta na? BTW, this is my new number. Lost my phone eh." This is the text message I received inside the MRT train headed to EDSA-Shaw Boulevard. The sender is who else? Yes, you're right... it's the old "friend" I was relating to you in my previous post.
We exchanged SMSs for more or less 4 hours last night and these are some of them, renewing the old scars I still have after two months since our "break-up":
ME: "Fancy? Hmmm... Good for you, you know how to describe our meeting. Honestly, I don't know what to feel and say. Pardon me for not staying for too long. I don't want to showcase any emotion to you, so I just passed by as if I didn't see anybody. Musta na ko? ...Moving on..."
HER: "Maybe it was pure coincidence . Anyway, for whatever it's worth... I want to say sorry for all the troubles i did. Are you still mad? 'Di naman kita masisisi kung oo. I just wish you the best. We're still friends, right?"
HER: "Hmmm. Gusto ko lang sanang ayusin kung anumang hindi okay sa atin. 'Di kasi ako sanay na may taong galit sa akin."
ME: "I'm not mad. INDIFFERENT - that's the right term. Maybe, that's my way of moving on and avoiding the pain. Thinking that you never came to my life gives me relief."
HER: "Ah okay. That's nice na hindi ka na galit. We are still friends, right?"
ME: "That i don't know. Don't be too happy about me not being mad anymore. No one knows whether being indifferent is better or worse than being mad towards someone. Two months isn't enough to make the pain subside."
HER: "If that's the case... they say that time is a big healer. But that's a lie for me. Wounds only heal if you decide to be cured."
ME: "I do not really know what's truth and what's lie. I do not even know what to believe in. I also do not know what to say or feel. Too much pain indeed makes a person numb."
... and the conversation continued until up to about 1:00 am.
...Hey, is it just me or is this a deja vu?
8:00 pm -> Riding a UP Campus-MRT Highway jeepney that has a usual route around the university premises before
entering the busy streets of Quezon City, I spotted a not so familiar face that I am anxious to see - the man who took away, without permission, a big part of me last summer. He was the reason why I had no companion during our recent Graduation Ball - which I enjoyed anyway. This guy made her decide to finally call it quits.
In short, I was nothing to her but an empty seat; and this man now occupies my empty spot. What really bothers me is the fact that I may see them together and, for sure, bad memories and painful thoughts will be awakened within me. Thank God, this guy who have crushed my ego was all alone last night - if that were any consolation to me, Thank God indeed.
8:45 pm -> "Hey, fancy meeting you kanina. Musta na? BTW, this is my new number. Lost my phone eh." This is the text message I received inside the MRT train headed to EDSA-Shaw Boulevard. The sender is who else? Yes, you're right... it's the old "friend" I was relating to you in my previous post.
We exchanged SMSs for more or less 4 hours last night and these are some of them, renewing the old scars I still have after two months since our "break-up":
ME: "Fancy? Hmmm... Good for you, you know how to describe our meeting. Honestly, I don't know what to feel and say. Pardon me for not staying for too long. I don't want to showcase any emotion to you, so I just passed by as if I didn't see anybody. Musta na ko? ...Moving on..."
HER: "Maybe it was pure coincidence . Anyway, for whatever it's worth... I want to say sorry for all the troubles i did. Are you still mad? 'Di naman kita masisisi kung oo. I just wish you the best. We're still friends, right?"
HER: "Hmmm. Gusto ko lang sanang ayusin kung anumang hindi okay sa atin. 'Di kasi ako sanay na may taong galit sa akin."
ME: "I'm not mad. INDIFFERENT - that's the right term. Maybe, that's my way of moving on and avoiding the pain. Thinking that you never came to my life gives me relief."
HER: "Ah okay. That's nice na hindi ka na galit. We are still friends, right?"
ME: "That i don't know. Don't be too happy about me not being mad anymore. No one knows whether being indifferent is better or worse than being mad towards someone. Two months isn't enough to make the pain subside."
HER: "If that's the case... they say that time is a big healer. But that's a lie for me. Wounds only heal if you decide to be cured."
ME: "I do not really know what's truth and what's lie. I do not even know what to believe in. I also do not know what to say or feel. Too much pain indeed makes a person numb."
... and the conversation continued until up to about 1:00 am.
posted by oNiN at 6/08/2006 02:42:00 PM
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